You may fall sometimes, but you're never fallen.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011 10:50 pm
sister


listen, ♥
Sometimes, I wish I had a sister, or someone who could at least understand. ):


Sunday, June 26, 2011 10:29 pm
Hopeless


listen, ♥
Sometimes, you amaze me. Is your future not important or am I bothering too much?

Maybe I should stop caring and just do what I want to.

You're not gonna appreciate what I've done till things go wrong anyway.

Why should I even care, seriously! WHY SHOULD I?!


10:05 pm
Dream


listen, ♥
"When your stomach starts to churn, and you feel that all hope is lost, remember that I'm there, to take you by the hand.

It's not you to give up. Where have all your optimism gone to? What's there to fear, when I'm with you?

Didn't I promise to be there? Haven't I been looking out for you?

You know you're better than this, you know you're worth much more, you know I've never really left you, maybe just for awhile.

But hey, ain't we back together again as one? Have no fear my dear, we'll conquer this together. You and I are in this together.

Wherever you are, there I will always be. Whatever you do, I'm there and it's true.

As long as I'm in your heart, there's never a day that we've been apart.

Have faith my dear, have complete faith.

I'll take you by the hand like before, and walk with you through your darkest days.

I promise to be your light and guide, that very sunshine in your eyes and I will live up to it, no matter where I am.

You know I love you, you know I'm there, you know I haven't left yet, just guiding you through the cloud that float by.

I missyou as much as you do, never forget that, we're never apart.

You and I, will be together, forever."

I miss you Bestf, if you ever come back.


9:18 pm
Erased


listen, ♥
/delete


Thursday, June 23, 2011 8:37 pm
Irony


listen, ♥
If you think I'm a hypocrite and a fake, then what are you?

It's people like you that amaze me so much, I'm left speechless cause it's so demeaning to rebut.

If you wanna talk about others, please do REALISE that you're no better than them and as individuals, we make mistakes and have our flaws.

We're only human, what do you expect? Us to always be the best and never fail? Be realistic before people start leaving.

No one's the best in everything, (we just try to be at our best) we all slip up once in awhile and you definitely have no rights to criticize me because you're no better.

Say whatever you want to okay? Do it on Facebook since I have no access to it, do it on Twitter where I can see it.

/roll eyes moment


8:11 pm
Fact


listen, ♥
I talk too much when I'm excited.


Sunday, June 19, 2011 12:16 am
Wrecked


listen, ♥
/delete


Saturday, June 18, 2011 11:54 pm
answer


listen, ♥
How am I feeling?

I honestly ... Don't know.


12:52 am
Nightmare


listen, ♥
I'm praying damn hard I won't get another nightmare.

Thank god Nanny woke me up from it this morning.

I'm kind of scared to fall asleep now, but I really have to. Meeting Aiai for KOI and then to study.

Please go away, never come back!

At the back of my mind, I'm still trying to decipher the dream.

Spooked x Freaked = Coward me.

If you're wondering, it's nothing supernatural cause I'm all use to it. This time, it feels REAL.

Okay, I think I'm gonna die soon. /crap


Friday, June 17, 2011 1:30 pm
Dream


listen, ♥
The dream was so scary, it's reenacting in my head.

If I'm gonna have these kind of dreams, I'd rather not dream ever again.

Who exactly was that person? What did the person want from me? Why did the person doubt me?

This can go on forever. I'm spooked!


2:34 am
Slit


listen, ♥
Thank you for hurting me.


1:16 am
Disturbia


listen, ♥
This, is stupid.

I cannot sleep and I lie in bed, thinking about how much of a moron I was.

My life cannot get anymore pathetic.

Thanks insonmia, you're such a darling.


12:37 am
Raw


listen, ♥
Someone asked me a question which I didn't have an answer to, and for a moment, I felt so stupid and small.

Why must this happen to me? Why couldn't I give a direct and definite answer there and then? Why did I have to ponder and make myself feel so insignificant? Why am I hurting myself for someone that is so unworthy?

For the million and one time in my life, I felt so weak infront of someone whom I've held dear to, my confidant, my hope, my source of inspiration.

Where did I go wrong? What did I do to deserve this kind of treatment?

Seriously, if you think this is a bloody game, I'm all set and ready to kill. But if it's not, can you just topple the ego and pride that's in the way and try to make things work?

Don't leave me in doubt. Don't force me to give up, again.

I'm tired of these shit and I'm not there to entertain.


Tuesday, June 14, 2011 11:10 pm
Words


listen, ♥
Can't you see that my pain's so real?


Monday, June 13, 2011 10:58 am
Inventions


listen, ♥
I am very much sick of what I'm going through.

Tell me what I really need in life. Give me strength to carry on.

Let me not succumb to hurt, pain and rejection but show me the way to you.

In all temptations, let me see the light and find all sources of inspiration so that I too, may live to serve you.


"He makes all things beautiful, in his time."


4:46 am
Thoughts


listen, ♥
Lost in transition. Lost in thoughts of you. Lost, just lost in you.

I never knew seeing you again would offset so much memories and spark my desire and longing for you once again.

I'm suppose to be sleeping, I'm suppose to.

Would it matter? Why am I bothered? Why should I care?

/sigh Need go get my head checked and my heart fixed.

Concentrate! I really need to concentrate and focus on what is ahead of me.

Thoughts running through your head at an unearthly hour.

Pardon the ranting.


1:42 am
Quote


listen, ♥
For you, a thousand times over.


Saturday, June 11, 2011 11:26 pm
narimah


listen, ♥


Hi Baby,

It’s been so long since we actually sat down to talk and just relax for a day. I know we’re all caught up in different ways, having to commit our time and energy to things that are necessary for ourselves. But be sure, that I’ve never once forgot about you and the times we’ve spent together in Tanglin. Those were the best years of my life and yes, I wouldn’t be where I am without you and the rest of the gang, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart, for always being there, rain or shine.

You know, I never once doubted our friendship. People came, tried to stay, found me too difficult and left. But you’re one of the many that I can always count on whenever I am in need of someone. Yes, it might be difficult for us to meet all the time and it gets increasingly taxing to have to constantly try to be there for each other, but nonetheless, I thank you for being there for me when I’m down and out, never giving up nor letting me go.

People change, promises are broken, but you still stayed true to your words and continued to be there, like never before. I miss how close we were then, having each other to bitch and whine and to sulk.

Remember how we hated Math lesson and couldn’t stop whining cause we didn’t know how to solve the problem sum and how we would copy each other’s answers and pray that we got it right? HAHA, Those were the days, really.

We’ve grown so much over the past seven years and breaking free wasn’t an option but a necessity. And despite the odds that we have to face, I’m glad that I can always depend on you and the rest to be there for me.

I love how our register number would always be together, for five consecutive years, without fail. And how our whole class would rush to the canteen during common break so that we could have a decent meal. I miss how we’ll cut the queues using our connections with people and how we always conquered our specific table and spots.

It’s times like these that I’ll never forget how close we were. And I thank you, for not turning your back on me the way some did because we weren’t able to constantly meet up.

I miss bitching sessions with you. I miss sitting beside you during Biology and all the random lessons. I miss how we’ll skip school together. I miss those times we hunted for our prom dress. I miss you and all the times we’ve spent together.

I love you! Never forget that and if you need anyone or anything, I’m eight numbers away. Always there Baby, till the end of my days. xxx,



12:06 am
Shun


listen, ♥
Oh no, the feeling's coming back again. Go away, go away, go away!


Friday, June 10, 2011 1:08 am
Mixed


listen, ♥
Somehow, I regret clubbing yesterday. No doubt I had an awesome time, I met old friends and some new people. But I didn't feel that I belonged, I was out of place, reading my notes until it got confiscated.

Yes, I learnt how to dance and be a party animal, but was that what I really wanted? I don't know. Okay, I know but does it matter now?

When I knew you were going, I should have backed out but oh well, it's all too late. Seeing you brought back so much memories and it made me feel like a complete fool all over again. And yes, I still don't like clubbing. I almost went deaf yesterday and the make up was so horrifying! I should have made it simple instead of allowing others to do what they wanted. Now I feel stupid and I wanna cry.

The worse part was having only an hour long sleep and then having to drag myself home before I crashed on my bed with my iPod plugged in thanks to the renovation works that's ongoing.

I don't know if I should be happy or sad, I'm confused and all fucked up. Destiny, fate.

Imagine going for a birthday party when you don't even know the birthday boy. Yes, I did that. But it was more of a free entry thing that we wanted cause we had fun amongst ourselves. All 6 of us.

I admit I enjoyed myself but I hated how people push and squeeze and grind and touch.

Did I mention that the birthday boy was hottttttttttttttttttt?! Oh oh oh, and there was this pretty girl who could really drink! Awesome! (Y)

Okay, it's time to sleep. Need to be more productive! Gonna meet Aiai! <3 Can't wait! She told me she went to club yesterday too! Hahaha, let's see how it goes tomorrow! :D

Sleep all day, study all night! Lol!


Wednesday, June 08, 2011 1:39 pm
Crap


listen, ♥
What am I doing with the time I have on hand? Nothing productive, all shit. Am I really not afraid or am I just waiting till the last minute? /sigh

Totally disgusted at myself.


Friday, June 03, 2011 11:20 pm
Auguries of Innocence


listen, ♥
To see the world in a grain of sand,
And heaven in a wild flower.
Hold infinity in the palms of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.


11:14 pm
Mess


listen, ♥
I tried, I really did. You know how hard I've tried and have been trying, you know it by heart. Don't leave me in this pool of doubt, trying to get by on my own. I don't want a life like this, I don't need it to be this way. Why won't things turn out better? Why can't things turn out fine?


4:35 am
SleeP


listen, ♥
Listening to What are Words and pondering about it's true meaning.

Really, what are words when you don't mean it?

I feel like going for a run. Those long runs where you don't stop until you feel like puking your gut out.

(thanks for screwing up and deleting what I wrote)

I've been trying to sleep for the past two hours. /sigh


3:42 am
Insomnia


listen, ♥
Insomnia, it's getting back at me for ranting non-stop.

/sigh

Give me a break, will you?!


2:19 am
Truth


listen, ♥
I sit here, at this unearthly hour, thinking of all the things that I could have done if it's not for you. And I start to wonder if you're worth all the time and effort. Truth to be told, I'm not sure about anything. My feelings, my direction, even my life. I don't feel like myself. I don't feel very much alive. And I long to feel like before, when everything was right. You know I hate losing, but I'm a loser by nature, just trying to put on a fight to things that I'll never be good in, in things that I wouldn't be able to achieve. But I try, and I really give it my all. Maybe sometimes, no, all the time, I feel that my efforts are going down the drain and whatever I've done seems to be oblivious and such.

I don't know. Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm asking for too much in life. Maybe I just don't deserve anyone or anything at their best. Maybe I'm just not good enough for humanity. But I'll try. I'll keep trying till I get it. The hang of life, the hang of losing, the hang of failing, the hang of everything under the sun. Anything that allows me to get by.

Maybe I should just shut up and slowly drift away, into my own world instead of these notes, binded booklets and books that I'm surrounded by. I'm tired, I really am.

I'm tired of living a lie. I'm tired of trying to get by. I'm tired of holding on. I'm tired of not accomplishing anything. I'm tired of myself.

I'm sick and tired, of life.


Wednesday, June 01, 2011 12:10 am
reaction


listen, ♥
I know I'm suppose to be happy and such (well I am) but I don't know why I'm in doubt. It's like so difficult for you to be nice, yet you were extremely nice to me today.

Why?




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Reminisce,

Everything you want, is on the other side of fear.